The most embarrassing photo I will ever post on the Internet? Can’t vouch for that but it would score highly in any relevant poll!
What am I wearing? For those ignorant of the latest fashion trends I am in fact donned in a “Onesy”, the latest in sleeping apparel which is all the rage among the pre-pubescent population and those who may be a little older.
My youngest step-daughter joined the “Onesy” craze some time ago and can often be glimpsed wafting around the house in a new design. Her latest is a full length jumpsuit ensemble, coloured purple which makes her look very much like a stylish motor mechanic, in stark contrast to her first get-up, a costume designed to look like a character from Pokemon.
Of course the denizens of this house, Linda excluded, have, after I suggested “Onesy’s” looked quite fashionable, decided to make a priority in life a commitment to seeing me in one. Alas, much to my dismay, this has come to pass.
The elder step-daughter, wiling her days away working at Big W suggested that I might like one as they are on special at the store and stupidly I agreed to buy one. So she has returned home tonight with a “Onesy” and of course I was required to put it on. She took a photo of me, a different one to that pictured which is dangerously stored on her i-phone, no doubt to come back and haunt me at an inopportune moment.
So, pre-empting any strike which may embarrass me in the future, I have taken a “selfie” in which I am elegantly attired in my new “Onesy”. And what a fine figure I cut if I do say so myself!
It may be a little small and the most noticeable thing is how fat I am getting! No matter, easing into my mid-forties entitles me to a little extra flab. Hopefully the fabric will stretch a little without tearing.
And so, I will slink to bed having had “funsy in my Onesy”, and face the slings and arrows which no doubt be coming my way in the morning after this post is published, with stoicism and resignation. And with a burgeoning pride of having joined the “Onesy” fad and lived to tell the tale.
Have a nice night.
Strange Notations From a Laborious Life 