Strange Notations From a Laborious Life

“We are all here with you Linda. We love you.”

These were the last words I ever spoke to her. She was restless and agitated in the last half hour. It’s the opioids working but to loved ones by a bedside, distressing, upsetting. She rolled her head to the side and after hours of nothing-she tried to speak. I thought then and know it now that it was her last earthly attempt to communicate. Her arm moved, the sound came but she was too weak to enunciate. A muffled noise, unmistakably Linda’s voice came out but it made no sense. Who knows what the brain is doing when everything else is shutting down. It was weak. She was saying goodbye.

It was upsetting for a moment. The girls were with me. I put my hand on her head.

“Just relax. We are all here with you Linda. We love you.”

And with that, she was released. She rolled her head back onto the pillow and lived her last few moments peacefully. “She’s going” I said. The girls gathered round her. I pressed the call button and a nurse checked on her. She exhaled for the last time-and the angels took her. Another nurse, a lovely girl who had cared for Linda well came in cheerfully, not appreciating a little family was living through its own little tragedy. She grasped the gravity of the moment immediately and checked Linda’s vitals. She looked at her watch, and it was confirmed.

The sun around which we all orbited had gone out. Who would have thought that a woman with such a spark could actually die? I suppose she never will. She will live on in our hearts and minds until we all breath our last. But the final moments in that little room with the gorgeous views of Lake Burley Griffin will stay with me for a long time.

It doesn’t do anyone much good to ponder these things. It can only upset if thought about too deeply. Linda is at peace. And that’s a relief.

And so, we go on. Many who have never read a blog before joined Linda and I on this journey. Her old school chums. Uni pals. Her many former work colleagues. Family and friends. Thank you all for the kindness you have shown. Linda’s time with us is over, but she wanted us to live, really live. And by doing that we honour her.

Linda, it was a hell of a ride. We will love you forever. XXXXXX