There is nothing very pleasing about getting older. The joints get stiffer as you get out of bed or an armchair. Feet hurt more than they did. Us fellows start losing hair, many of us anyway and we all start to get that “silver fox” look unless we decide to use a bottle (plenty of fellas do too!). I have been nodding off after sitting on the couch in the afternoons and I certainly don’t skip up inclines on my walks as I used to do, even when I wasn’t so fit.
And you also start to feel the tickle of time on the back of your neck. Realise that you are now in the second half of life and a bit of a countdown begins in your head and you think about the things you really should do before you die. Before you die! Words you don’t take so seriously in your twenties but get a little more concrete in your mid-50’s. And you lose people close to you. Often ones who still have much to give and enjoy.
One day you are 30 and the next you are popping out of the bottom of that theme park ride of life at 55. Of course I will be 56 in a couple of weeks. Hard to believe.
I have found some positives in it. I am a little more sensible than I used to be. A little. I don’t suffer fools anymore and have learnt to duck and weave around conspiracy theorists, people who want to push extreme views, left or right down my throat and those who think their opinion is the right one and I should agree with it no matter what.
I bought a book last year called: How Not to Become a Grumpy Old Bugger! I got a few things out it, but the best piece of advice was simply: let it go! If it’s annoying you, let it go. Don’t become one of those grumpy old men who whinge and complain about everything while living and surviving in one of the richest countries and safest democracies on earth!
So, I avoid morning television like the plague. I avoid feedback columns wherever they may be. Definitely avoid shows where politicians are interviewed. I particularly stay away from SKY news which seems to have become some sort of caricature of itself and, people who are toxic. I try to at least.
I had a lovely dinner out the other night with a great lady who grew up a lot differently from me and has led a different life to mine. She is originally from the country and has spent plenty of time over the years around rural folk so has a different outlook on some things to me. She was a small business owner, and I regaled her with the story of my own upbringing in typical working-class Australia in a family that always leant centre-left and my own 30-year career in a highly unionised workplace and the advantages it provided. We came from completely different directions but saw and agreed with each other’s point of view. If we had a few more hours, we probably could have solved the Iran crisis! So, having enjoyable relationships with people from different backgrounds isn’t unachievable when you have the right attitude.
I have written a pretty long-winded post already in trying to get to the original point I had in mind from the beginning. That is, aging is not all bad!
I have been doing a fair bit of walking and have found Canberra at this time of year to be breathtaking with the changing of the seasons leading to a gorgeous patchwork of colours in the trees as we slide from autumn into winter. I grew up in Canberra so this isn’t a revelation to me but the last few years I have appreciated it much more than I ever did in more youthful days. Maturity has made me more appreciative of the world around me. Has anyone else had this experience? Let me know.
Many have probably gotten this far and just want to know how I am travelling three months along from Linda’s passing. And I am going okay. I get a regular pall of grief raking me a couple of times a day and I have shed enough tears to run a small power station. The last two weeks were particularly acute, and I began to worry that I might need more than just my willpower to get along. However now we are on the other side of Mother’s Day I am not feeling it so sharply and put it down to the fact it was the first Mother’s Day without Linda and she was surely playing on my mind. Another first we had to endure.
The girls are surviving but I feel the strong undercurrent of grief running beneath the surface with them, but they are doing as well with their own lives as they can under the circumstances. Losing the one person in your life who would fight to the death for you no matter what is a feeling I’m sure they would find hard to describe. She was a “Tigress Deluxe” when it came to her family and we were so lucky to have her. She is with us always.
The year rolls on inexorably and we all do our best. It’s not so cold yet in Canberra but the winds of winter are coming. Take care and stay safe until next time.
Strange Notations From a Laborious Life 