I had a pretty good day yesterday. Nothing outrageous or terribly interesting. Just getting about life normally. Ha, normally!
Nathan stayed a couple of nights. He is so polite and pleasant when he is here that I have wondered at times if he is okay! He was attending a basketball camp in the far reaches from here, Belconnen and I dropped him there and then buzzed off across the city to have lunch with a mate in Queanbeyan.
It was one of those days when my concentration may not have been as good as it could have been. I got across to Belconnen okay. I always drive carefully with the boys but coming out of the town centre I clipped a gutter. I nearly drove out in front of someone in Queanbeyan. I got to the Tigers club with a bit of time to spare and there were trucks unloading on either side of the shopping centre which I carefully picked my way around. Finally parked, I sat back and took a deep breath, happy to have made it one piece and promising myself I would take more care on the way home.
It was a nice lunch. The club was almost empty and for the most part we had the dining area to ourselves. We laughed with each other, at each other and laid bare what we have been doing and sounded off, both happy to have an ear to bend. The time passed with the easy company.
On my way home I called into the cemetery. I just couldn’t drive past it and not call in. I don’t like going during the week as there are always council workers mowing lawns and the solitude of the early mornings when I visit on the weekends is missing but I owe it to Linda to call in when I am in the area.
I wasn’t happy though. We had made an effort to make sure Linda’s new headstone has been beautified as we want it to be. But there had been new dirt thrown on the grave, which was fine, but it looked as though someone had been through with a whippersnipper and knocked over her flowers and ornaments that the boys had left. I wasn’t impressed.
I suppose if I was a certain type of person I could have spoken to one of the workers circling endlessly on their ride on mowers, but who starts a blue in a cemetery?
So, Linda has no fresh flowers which I will remedy on the weekend. I tidied things up to at least look respectable. I am sure mowing cemeteries is a monotonous job, God knows I know a thing or two about that. But taking care of our loved ones resting places should at least tickle the far reaches of boredom in their heads, surely?
Visited Mum and Dad and finally made it home. The new normal in operation. And I feel okay.
The dichotomy of life is profound. A good day without finding myself in swampy depths of grief is soon invaded by the dull ache that comes with being here alone in the evenings without Linda.
A friend sent me a song by The Whitlams called “Leave the Light On” which reminds her of Linda. I listened to it, a live version on Youtube last night and it opened up the memories, the life we had and the gaping hole that Linda has left-again. But that is okay. The melancholy is accompanied by the soothing balm of precious memories. And I survive another day.
The sun has risen again today. There is not a cloud in the sky, and I have a three-year-old ratbag here for a few hours who will keep me busy.
I hope you have a great day.
